Let’s say yes to all!
Hello World!
I think that’s the way to start: hello world. I have never written a blog article in my life (I can barely write at all), and now I am sitting here, 43 years old, 2h pep talk meeting with my bestie via Google Meet, and here we are. Let’s do this- or, better, what am I actually doing, and why am I doing what I am doing? I know we are already starting deep - joking.
For me, it is really hard to get out of my shell and be open about how I feel, how my health journey has gone so far and what motivated me to finally take the step out of my comfort zone. It’s more like dragging myself out there to be honest, and without my dear friend, I would sit a bit longer on this comfy couch.
I have a hard time talking about my pain, my daily struggle with Endometriosis. Raised by the German post-war generation, I was taught that communicating pain was always considered weak. You have to suck it up, no whining. I didn’t want to be a wimp. I didn’t want to be one of those who share their mental state all the time, hospital pictures, videos of myself crying on the bathroom floor. And here I have to add that I don’t want to discredit the openness of others or dismiss their disease. Just sharing my own misery was unimaginable for me. I was born before the wall came down, and privacy has had, and still has, a different meaning for me. It’s precious, and I was always after protecting it, which also meant protecting my pain and suffering quietly.
But then what changed? Why, all of a sudden, this lightning moment of letting everyone know how I feel? And who should care in the end? I realized I was wrong. Deeply wrong. This year, 2026 - another flare-up, another bed office week, another conversation with my husband about “I don’t know what the fuck I should do anymore”, I was sitting in my bed, and I was frustrated. Frustrated to the core. I was sooo depressed to have this sickness, how it affects my life for years, my work, my relationship and how exhausting it is to get help. Real help, valuable help. I was so tired of trying to explain to people I am not on a weird diet, no, I can’t have wine right now, yes, let’s try another hormone - what was the name again?
Not being able to work out, or the fact that I could tattoo “push through” on my forehead, because that seems to be the theme for 15 years. I hit a breakpoint in my life, finally at 43. The frustration about people not knowing about endometriosis, the broken health care system that doesn’t seem to take it seriously enough and then, topping of all, guys saying - it’s a woman’s sickness! She has hormone issues. Okay, thanks!
So why was I wrong? I realized that I am the problem. Who would have thought? Yes! I am the one who feeds into this lack of knowledge about this chronic disease. With me not sharing my pain, my bloated belly, my body shame and dysmorphia, my exhaustion, my depression. Without sharing my journey at all and speaking up for myself, I could not complain that nobody knows. I can’t get upset with the people around me not knowing what endometriosis is and how awfully it can affect so many levels of someone’s life. I realized I have to be an ambassador for my own health, taking ownership and taking pride in ruining garden party conversations with truthful answers - my new favourite part, to be honest. You should give it a try. It was time for a change.
I shifted my health and life coaching career towards a focus on endometriosis. The fact that I already tried to help other people, but it never crossed my mind before to help those who suffer the same as me. My sissis united in pain. How sad this sounds, but how true it is. Yes to all - that’s what I thought.
Yes I want to be able to work normally again, not like a vegetable in my bed.
Yes I want to be not bothered by the comments of others or trying to explain myself.
Yes I want to feel strong and confident in my body again - bloated or not.
Yes I actually want to feel hot again, which results in
yes I also want a sex life again
and the final Yes, yes I want to be happy again. I want to feel free.
YTA was born and became my mission, my deep desire to create a platform and a program that can help women manage this sneaky disease. To find guidelines, trust and community, and be someone who really cares and listens. Sitting in those doctor's offices and just getting another set of painkillers or hormones makes you more lost and alone than anything else.
I want to help those who feel the same. I am still battling endo to this day - 4 weeks past my last surgery. I think it was number 5 now. But I found ways over the years to deal with it better, combined with my life & health coach education, I developed habit plans and methods that help me to get through a rough episode. I am here to share all of it in the hope that another soul finds moments of relief or finds a helping hand to climb this mountain together. Time to see the sunrise again.
